Rays Stun Sox to Win AL Pennant

"Rays stun Red Sox to win AL pennant
Improbable Fenway sweep puts Tampa Bay in World Series."

That was all the info I could find on TBS.com at 9:47 p.m. Pacific Standard Time while I was furiously searching for details on a game six first pitch. While it’s no “Dewey Defeats Truman,” it is a little embarrassing for a budding brand trying to carve out a niche in the world of cable sports.

I never thought that I would miss Joe Buck and Tim McCarver stepping over each others words with the snide pretentiousness of Cindy McCain waiting for her Cobb Salad at Morton’s. But, Chip Carey, Buck Martinez and Ron Darling are nearly insufferable.

Chip Carey thinks every ball hit in the air is a home run and isn’t quite sure as to the distinctions between a ground ball and a line drive. He can also find a way to bring up Mike Lowell’s torn labrum at any point in any broadcast. That actually may be a skill? Martinez seems to be interviewing for a job as Joe Maddon’s bench coach while simultaneously making claims about Pedroia and Youkilis as if he’d known them since their birth. “Dustin’s never given up anything his entire life.” Buck claimed with the hubris of a proud grandfather. Ron Darling is probably the least harmful of the three amigos, but he too has made some ridiculous claims this series. I believe in the top of the first of Thursday’s game he said B.J Upton’s homer turned around the veracious winds that were blowing in from off the Pike. One baseball that went Green Monster high for a little more than 300 feet reversed the incoming winds? Did B.J. Upton turn into Dumbledore? Windimus blowless danTBS. Just give it a couple trys.

As a fake Bostonian based on my mothers birthplace I am happy for the Sox. As a baseball fan I am thrilled that we could get another epic LCS, provided Josh Beckett can remember he’s one of the best big game pitchers going. As a homosapien with an IQ, presumably, above 80, I’m not sure how I will survive another evening (hopefully two) with the treacherous trio in my living room.

Which network has the worst broadcasting team going? Discuss.

Dodgers done, Kent too?

A collective sigh of relief swept across Northern California as the LA Dodgers season came to an unusually late end Wednesday night. As the Phills made short work of the Dodgers I for one was sort of sad for our former mate, Jeff Kent.

Kent’s hall of fame career likely came to an end last night as he has been in decline for the past few seasons. Slowed by injuries, dwindling production and eventually relegated to the bench in the playoffs Jeff Kent isn’t the type who will hang on for money or an imbalanced sense of pride or self worth.

Kent will hang up his mirrored sunglasses, and trade in his bat for cross bow, go to his barber and get his Ivy-league part trimmed up and never be heard from again.

While it’s easier to feel sorry for Levi Johnston than anyone wearing a Dodger uni, I do share some empathy for Jeff Kent. He didn't often open up to the media but when he did it was usually in regards to his goal of winning a World Series. He never made it to the bottom of the pile with his teammates celebrating a World Series Championship. He came close a few times and could find himself in Cooperstown within a decade, but those of us who watched Kent play for any portion of his 17 year career know the accolades mean nothing to him.

Thank you, Jeff. It was a great career and we were lucky to be a part of it.

How will Giants fans remember Jeff Kent? Start the discussion.

Ah Wicked Pissa

For Sox fans you've been here before. For Rays fans that was a baseball game; its a sport created by Abner Doubleday in the 19Th century which matches a hurler with a spherical object and eight of his gloved mates as they defend against nine other bipedal men who's intent is to squarely hit the round "ball" with a round club, or "bat," in an effort to circle the three bases and make it "home" in a counter clockwise fashion safely before the defense records three "outs." But, more on that later.

Its true, Sox fans, this is a post 2004 world we live in and there is no need to curl up in a ball of loathing a self pity. Besides, according to the McCain campaign and its surrogates you guys won the game decisively! When asked how the Sox did Gov. Palin replied "they did awesome" in her accent that is surprisingly less annoying then that of TBS analyst one of two, Buck Martinez. While it’s unsure which debate, um, I mean game the Governor was watching truth be told this isn't 2004, 2007, or even the ALDS last week.

As I’m writing this Papi just struck for his first hit of the series and it wasn't exactly in a clutch situation. Mike Lowell is going to have surgery, Ellsbury ironically has lost his spot to Coco this time around, the only way Beckett keeps up his rep as a Mr. October is if he dates this month's playmate, Mike Timlin gargles fish crap, Tek is washed up, Lester went from Bruce Hurst to Matt Clement, and Manny will be watching the World Series from his Holiday Inn in LA.

That being said, Soxaholix, take comfort in the fact that you still have a pulse, and if the Sox can take the series back to the Trop all of the pressure shifts to the young mo-hawked shoulders of the Rays. I've got a fever and the only prescription is hushed cowbells.