Sep 26, 2007

Look at us now!

This is an actual transcript of a meeting between Barry Bonds, Peter McGowan and Larry Baer that took place last Friday September 21, 2007. I can not for obvious reasons reveal my source or sources of this actual transcript.

Peter McGowan: Owner, Managing General Partner, San Francisco Giants Baseball Club.
"Thanks Barry, you know this was really great wasn't it? 15 Years, wow! What Memories? What emotions? Hey, thanks for the stadium man, this place is sweet huh?

Barry Bonds: Former Left Fielder, San Francisco Giants.
"Your welcome."

Brian Sabean: General Manager, Vice President, San Francisco Giants Baseball Club.
"You know Barry I want to personally thank you. A few people may know this but you're the only reason I still have a job. You see, I hear people talk and they say 'boy, won't it be great to see what Brian Sabean will be able to do now that he won't have his hands tied by being saddled with Barry Bonds'."

Larry Baer: Some Fancy Title, San Francisco Giants Baseball Club.
"Can I get you some water Barry? A seat cushion?"

Bonds: "No thanks, Larry."

Sabean: "As I was saying, you and I both know any GM would have loved to have been 'saddled' with you, and if I think about the team I have surrounded you with over the past four seasons it makes me sick! What was I thinking? God, what I would give to get Joe Nathan back. And I know you and Jeff didn't get along that well, but the single biggest mistake we made was not adding a bat to the lineup when we had the both of you. Shoot, it makes me feel warm and dizzy and kind of strange when I think about it. Jose Cruz Jr.?!... Ryan Klesko?!... Ray Durham?!... Twice!... Marquis Grissom?!... David Bell?!... Deivi Cruz, Neifi Perez, Edwards Guzman, Moises Alou, Lance Neikro, Rich Aurilia... AGAIN?!! Jeffery Hammonds, Jamey Wright, Armando Benetiez, Jason Christensen, Steve Kline, Matt Morris, Barry Freakin' Zito, Dave Roberts...

Baer: "Barry, can I adjust your recliner?"

Bonds: "No thanks, Larry."

Sabean: ... Jeremy Accardo for Shae Hillenbrand, and Vinnie Chulk! Russ Ortiz, Matt Herges, Wayne Franklin, Brett Tomko!!!! Dave Burba?!!"

Bonds: "Brian, your being too hard on your self. Burba was here in '93 when I got here."

Sabean: "No Barry, look it up. I brought him BACK in 2004. We won 90 games in '04 and that was the dead-line move that I made? Pathetic, just pathetic. Oh my god, 2004, that was the year I had A.J. Pierzynski hitting behind you, Christ Barry, you're only human."

Bonds: "Brian, it's okay, we came really close, really close."

Baer: "No Barry, we did you wrong, we will in your honor, to apologize for our lack of contribution, ah, put together, uh, ah, a video montage!"

Bonds: "Thanks, Larry, but I won't be able to make it."

Sabean: "Would you two let me finish? Edgardo Alfonso, Michael Tucker, Ricky Ledee!! Jeff Fassero, LaTroy Hawkins, Alex Sanchez, the skinniest guy who ever got busted for steroids by the way. Mike Stanton, Tim Worrell, the second time, he was actually pretty good the first stay here. Todd Green, Mark Sweeney, Jose Vizcaino, Steve Finley! And I promise I am just speaking about 2003 and beyond. Trust me, I have no reason to lie. There is no one in here but the four of us, and this conversation will never get out. Look it up, these names were on our roster thanks to me."

McGowan: "Well, it should be said that we do have some bright spots, Brian."

Sabean: "Really, do you think so?"

Bonds: "Sure Sabes."

Baer: "Yes, Brian you have been instrumental in the assent of this franchise from the first day you walked into Candlestick Park, and I am going to honor you with a, um, maybe, ah, how about a video tribute? Have you seen our new Jumbo-Tron? Its the second largest high-def monitor in North America."

McGowan: "As I was saying, Larry, there are some bright spots. Matt Cain, Tim Lincicum, Omar Vizquel, Brian Wilson."

Baer: "And don't forget Barry... ... I mean the other Barry... Sorry, Barry."

Bonds: "No problem Larry."

McGowan: "And, some of our recent position prospects look promising."

Sabean: "But, I just feel like I could have done something more."

Baer: "Hey, go easy on yourself. Look at us now! We play in one of the crown jewels in professional sports. We have a rich history of Hall of Fame players. We sold a ton of season tickets because of this Barry and the All-Star Game. And we are still the only Major League team with a high-def video board... ... ... and three portly, Latino catchers in their 30's."

Sep 14, 2007

Bonds, Obama the Ticket in '08?

In one word, doubtful. You see, one of these men is at the beginning of his career, the other at the near dead end. One carries himself with a confident gate, the other an arrogant swagger. They both bring people out by the thousands. Only one carries a large cache after achieving something no other African American had ever done, and many thought was an impossible accomplishment. They both are in their mid forties, and people agree that their age is the single biggest detriment. But despite that we will be seeing much more of one of these men in the year to come traveling around the country, going from city to city across this great nation.

Yes folks you heard it hear first. The next president of the United States of America will not be Barack Obama. The other man I am speaking of is Barry Bonds, the 44 year-old left fielder for your San Francisco Giants and he will be back making news and doing his thing in 2008. And it makes sense, to the Giants.

No player can match the respect given by opposing mangers, outside of A-Rod in May, or Big Pappi in September. Bonds still can change a game. He is still the best player on the Giants, which is for another post. And his defensive misadventures are over exaggerated. Yes he is, in baseball years, ancient. Apparently he would be considered a baby if he entered the political world, but knowing Bonds he probably wouldn't be willing to pander enough to succeed the way most politicians do. Bonds this season will earn approximately $20 million after incentives. If he is willing to come back for a respectful $8-$10 million, say somewhere in the Eric Byrnes range, it is a sound baseball and business decision for Brian Sabean, Peter McGowan and company.

As much as I'd like to see Obama stumping across the country, and Barry bow out with some dignity, I am certain my hopes will not come to fruition.

Loose Stitches...

...A little noise was made when Matt Morris was traded and left a few "parting shots" for his organizational home for the past year and a half. He mentioned that he was excited to play behind younger more talented defenders, and that the culture of losing was difficult to accept for him, but not for many others in the Giants clubhouse and front office. I don't care what he said, he was frustrated, he was hurt, he has to still be thinking about the Cardinals not re-signing him, and then going on to win the World Series without him. But Matt, did you know you were traded to the Pirates? In fact that trade may have been the last straw for Pirate GM Dave Littlefield who time and time again made poor decisions and bringing on Matt Morris and the balance of his $13 million dollar plus contract was about as bad a decision as trading away Jason Schmidt and John Vander Wal for Ryan Vogelsong and Armando Rios. Thanks Dave, maybe you can get a Job with the Dodgers?...

...The 49er's are the sexy pick for up and coming team. Its hard to disagree, but the defense is still untested despite holding Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald to a total of 46 yards receiving last Monday night. Patrick Willis seems to be the real deal, and teams are so afraid of corner back Nate Clement they are going to try to pick on Walt Harris who led the NFC in interceptions last season, but they still seem to be light in run defense and pressuring the quarterback. The questions I have revolve around the offense. With Frank Gore the only question is will he run for more yards than he did last season. But his skilled brethren, i.e. wide receivers, are a little shaky. Darrell Jackson looked to be doing his best impression of an alligator, tyrannosaurus Rex, ________________ (fill in your favorite short armed creature here), until he redeemed himself by falling on Arnaz Battle' lost fumble late in the game. Ashley Lelie never had his named called by Mike Nolan or Mike Ditka. And Alex Smith was stymied for most of the game before his poise filled drive to win it at the end. I look for them to win 8 and maybe sneak into the playoffs with the help of a weak NFC West...

...Nellie is Back. Good for him. Good for he Warriors. Nellie saw the team transition an get even younger in the off-season. His concern was with the contract incentives last year helped him earn $5.1 million, but with a younger team and perhaps an untested group he wasn't willing to leave the extra $2 million between his $3.1 million base salary and what he earned last year to chance. Who could blame him. Good luck Warriors, you have a tough act to follow... Until next time, if you're planning on riding your bike at night, plan on wearing white.