Oct 16, 2008

Rays Stun Sox to Win AL Pennant

"Rays stun Red Sox to win AL pennant
Improbable Fenway sweep puts Tampa Bay in World Series."

That was all the info I could find on TBS.com at 9:47 p.m. Pacific Standard Time while I was furiously searching for details on a game six first pitch. While it’s no “Dewey Defeats Truman,” it is a little embarrassing for a budding brand trying to carve out a niche in the world of cable sports.

I never thought that I would miss Joe Buck and Tim McCarver stepping over each others words with the snide pretentiousness of Cindy McCain waiting for her Cobb Salad at Morton’s. But, Chip Carey, Buck Martinez and Ron Darling are nearly insufferable.

Chip Carey thinks every ball hit in the air is a home run and isn’t quite sure as to the distinctions between a ground ball and a line drive. He can also find a way to bring up Mike Lowell’s torn labrum at any point in any broadcast. That actually may be a skill? Martinez seems to be interviewing for a job as Joe Maddon’s bench coach while simultaneously making claims about Pedroia and Youkilis as if he’d known them since their birth. “Dustin’s never given up anything his entire life.” Buck claimed with the hubris of a proud grandfather. Ron Darling is probably the least harmful of the three amigos, but he too has made some ridiculous claims this series. I believe in the top of the first of Thursday’s game he said B.J Upton’s homer turned around the veracious winds that were blowing in from off the Pike. One baseball that went Green Monster high for a little more than 300 feet reversed the incoming winds? Did B.J. Upton turn into Dumbledore? Windimus blowless danTBS. Just give it a couple trys.

As a fake Bostonian based on my mothers birthplace I am happy for the Sox. As a baseball fan I am thrilled that we could get another epic LCS, provided Josh Beckett can remember he’s one of the best big game pitchers going. As a homosapien with an IQ, presumably, above 80, I’m not sure how I will survive another evening (hopefully two) with the treacherous trio in my living room.

Which network has the worst broadcasting team going? Discuss.

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